Speechless

Amidst the Brokenness

Situations surround us all the time. Sometimes the pain seems like too much. It's natural that we question if we're growing. Even if we are, often we don't realize it. While experiencing all the confusion in the storm, our vision tends to go blurry. We look at life and wonder what good could come of said circumstances. We look at the world and wonder where the good even is: Amidst all the evil?

Is "good" a definable word, or do we have a distorted view of it? Does our view of it change depending on whichever situation we may be going through?

Just a few questions I've been asking myself recently.



While experiencing harder times, especially, I wonder about the big picture. I wonder what might come through my personal brokenness, if anything.

Could it be that there's something greater going on than we realize? Through my pain might I even bring about someone else's growth? Or maybe it's just a lesson I've got to learn, and now happened to be the opportune time to learn it. Maybe the purpose of pain is for myself as I'm in this world, figuring out my life?


What I find particularly interesting is how we're able to respond to those times of hardness...


We could either grow in faith, or, quite the opposite.

The hardship could either be a) destructive or b) another challenge which brings about growth, depending on our response to the situation...or, depending on our response to Him.

I've come to learn that each situation's different. Things may be black and white, sometimes grey. But God was, is, and always will be. He never changes.


There are times of testing, yet He doesn't give us more than we can bear. Through our weakness, He proves to be strong, and as we soften our hearts during those times of trouble, often we learn a ton if we draw near to Him.



How amazing it is that we're even able to take refuge in Him. And to know that He longs for us to come back, no matter what happens, is simply astounding!

This is the God who cares enough to warn. Who loves enough to discipline. Who is incredibly holy. Who sent His only son to die...for me? As a sinner. Why do we deserve this forgiveness? Whenever I'm asked that question, I'm stunned.

And to know that He wants a personal relationship with us? Even after we hurt Him. Wow! What a powerful, amazing creator!

Clearly He loves us in ways incomprehensible.



Matthew 10:29-31 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."


I'd like to share two things I noticed while reading this short passage of scripture, in light of the love of God and the human struggle with brokenness:

1. The two sparrows sold for a penny: Whenever I think of sparrows, I think of the common little birds flitting around in nearly every backyard during the summer. They don't always get the most attention (or cost the most money) because they aren't rare...yet God cares deeply for them. Even though others seem to pass them by. How great it is to know that He loves each one individually; all valued and special.

2. Not a sparrow will fall apart from the will of your Father: God never promised that our walk would be an easy one. Actually, we've been called to take up our cross and follow Him. We may not fully understand the will of our Father, especially when presented with trouble or when we do fall... This is often where I get confused, because I know that He cares about His children so incredibly much. Why would God let the one He loves stumble and fall? To be honest, I'm not sure. But I could tell you what happened when I was broken. I started to see how desperately I need a Savior. Ultimately the pain that I felt brought me back to the God of the universe. I never realized before how prone I really am to wander away! Because of the situation I found myself in, I became aware of my own depravity and now I'm captivated by His absolutely amazing grace. As a by-product I also became more passionate about sharing Christ's love with others. I couldn't do anything without it!


In Warren Wiersbe's book, The Bumps Are What You Climb On, he writes of Abraham's journey and "the difficult tests on the road of life [which he had to take] before he reached the top of the mountain." While speaking of the famine in the land of Canaan, Wiersbe underlines a significant point by exclaiming, "Imagine facing a famine in the land God has promised you!"

My first thought: He does give and take away!

But I know that He's got reasons for taking away.

Even if we don't understand them. Yet.


I'm constantly reminded of Matthew 7:9-11, which says this: "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"


But sometimes, as children, we don't know what we're asking for.

We might be asking for bread, but our parents know we're allergic. We might be looking for another cookie when our parents know that now is not the time. Or we might want to play tag with friends though they know we've got asthma.


And as a result, often not understanding why or how others could know better than ourselves, we wonder what it is that we are going to receive.



In the same way, many people question God's goodness...
...in relation to what they've been given.

Or how they've been hurt.



Maybe you've heard of this song: There's a line in it which says that "[e]verybody's got a story that could break your heart."


We may never know why certain things play out in a particularly difficult way.

But a friend recently shared something with me which underlines the reality I've come to know: "It's not so much about whether or not God caused [these situations], but that God used [them]."




It's funny...

We're searching for answers, but often we don't get the ones we're looking for.

And because of that, though we do receive a response, we're usually left unsatisfied.


You'd think the way in which we're cared for would be simple to figure out. When really we're shown love in ways which we'd never expect.


For example, recently I've seen how we have to be broken before we can be healed. In being broken, we get hurt, but if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, He can mold us into what He wants us to be.

In Psalm 119 (verse 71), the author writes, "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees." Through reading this, I was reminded of the reality of sin and how much it affects our relationship with Him. As we strive to be obedient, living in submission to Christ, it only makes sense that we should know the laws which we shouldn't break. Through personal experience, and sometimes through pain, often our eyes are opened up as we realize how we have grown through affliction.

And on an even more personal note, I've found that through affliction, confrontation and brokenness comes not only healing but also that longing to spend more time with the One who created me. Just to know Him more.



These last three months in particular have been very stretching. It's odd; I've realized that goodness can come along with the brokenness, which makes me wonder... Even though Satan might be at work, and even though he's tricky when enticing us with sin (which clearly gets us into trouble), could it be that God uses even that so we may grow and ultimately He brings about good through it?

He's certainly capable of doing so. Romans 8:28 clearly states that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."




There was once another man searching for answers. He asked Jesus this question: "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments" (Matthew 19:17).


The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength. Which implies that we know Him.


Through Titus 1:16, we learn that "[some] claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."

1 John also emphasizes upon this truth: "No one who lives in [Christ] keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him" (3:6).


As Titus 3:14 taught that "[their] people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives," it teaches us, also, that if we truly know our God - the One who is good - our devotion and the reality of our relationship with Him will be shown through good deeds. We choose to obey Him because we love Him, and because we know Christ, we're able to love others.

The reward is a fruitfulness which is recognizable.

And we're free to do this because we're free from sin. Not because of what we've done but simply because of who God is.


The really cool part of this is that through acknowledging how our fruitfulness is shown in reflection to our relationship with God, we're starting to realize how we really need Him. Clearly He's the provider... The reason we're able to live productive lives is because we're connected to the source!

Ultimately, He's the one who's given the glory.

He's the only one worthy of it.


As we begin to understand how much we do need Him, as well, it allows us to depend on His power all the more, to be more open to His leading, and to be molded more into His likeness.




In Psalm 34:8-10, we read these words: "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."

Psalm 84:11: "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."



And then we look at Job.


Paul.

Joseph.


Daniel.



Christ.



They all experienced pain, trouble, and heartbreak.



Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: Three men who were bold enough to say, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up" (Daniel 3:17,18).

They didn't only trust God's power within the circumstance - they trusted His character, despite the outcome! By and by, they remained obedient. Even though they knew very well that the fire could bring about their death.





Hebrews 12:7-11 has been an incredibly powerful piece of scripture which I find myself at time and time again. I don't know what you have been, might be, or will be going through...but as I share this with you, I hope that you will find encouragement in knowing that God's there with you amidst the brokenness.


"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Ready to Answer

I'm working as a demo lady in a grocery store this Summer. Sometimes people ask where to find a certain type of food, others ask for ice, and some just stop by to chat every now and then. Sometimes I'm taught a bit of another language from people strolling by casually, and at other times all I can do is listen to others talk as they rush toward their destination. Of course there have been tougher days as well as fun times, but God's always there amidst every experience. When things get quiet, especially during break time, I've been spending a lot of time practicing the spiritual disciplines of prayer and meditation on the Word.

Then comes my walk home. Usually enjoyable. Often calming. Some more time for one-on-one conversation with God once again.

And I walk in the door.


Often I struggle with forward motion; it is easy to get lazy after a day of being on my feet at work. Usually I think of how I really should spend more time with certain friends, but often I fail to pick up the phone. I've been meaning to make that call for quite some time now.


Someone may also experience spiritual laziness, especially after growing weary from being out "in the harvest." That's one reason why it's so important to keep the Sabbath set apart as holy: Rest in Him and be restored for another hard week of work. But remember to keep growing; God also waters us on those days. Just as Christ answered many questions whenever various people asked, so we too may be asked questions for which we must be prepared to give an answer...at any time.




While I'm at work people ask me questions which I never expect all the time. For example, if I'm handing out samples of yogurt and ice cream, sometimes people ask me where the chicken is. Some people have allergies, so they inquire about ingredients before they have a taste, and sometimes others ask that surprising question of "What's so great about it?" At times words come quick, and at other times I slip up a bit more than usual. And yet we're still to know how to respond to every question so that the customer may leave the store satisfied.

1 Peter 3: 15 also tells us that we are to "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

And if we read 1 Peter 3's surrounding verses, we learn of setting apart Christ as Lord and being careful to give our answers "with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience."




Sometimes I sit up in the staff room during my break and the others in the room are talkative. Some friends vent to me while others are content with silence.


Sometimes as friends we just chill.

At other times we're sharpening one another as Proverbs 27:17 speaks of ("As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another").


And as we continue to build friendships, the others might just have some questions.

The questions may come at unexpected times. But we are expected to have an answer for everyone who asks us to give the reason for the hope that we have.

And although we slip up every now and then...
God is still there.

So, It's Been a While. Tell Me What's New with You.

Today, we're used to the same questions being asked: How are you? What's new? How are things going?

Sometimes we respond in the usual way: I'm fine. Nothing's really happening. Things are okay.

Sometimes we go on to explain why things are amazing...or not.

And sometimes there is silence as we're trying to think of what to say. "It's been so long since we last talked to each other," one may think. "Where am I to begin?"

That's kinda what it feels like for me to come back here and type once again. God has been stretching me in so many ways, I don't even know where to start.

For those of you who may not know, I attended Briercrest for the past year and thoroughly enjoyed it. I learned a lot. God blessed me with an amazing dorm full of girls and many good friends. One of the things I struggled with the most, however, was getting in that one-on-one time with God.

Although I did learn a lot in class, through friendships, and throughout various experiences, sometimes I would notice that I was slipping a bit. Although learning in these ways is important as well, they just aren't the same as spending quality time in prayer and meditating on the Bible.

And sometimes I am reminded of that.

Actually, quite often.

It's like God gets my attention and then says "So, it's been a while. Tell me what's new with you."

And then silence.



He's been there all the time.


Sometimes He would talk to me, and sometimes things got quiet.


Very quiet.


One time during the school year, when a group of us were on the road heading for the Regina Rescue Mission, someone asked how they could get to know God better.

The other man's answer was simple.

Talk to Him.


How incredible it is to know that we have such a loving Father. Yet by the same token we are also to fear Him...which is yet another huge thing I have been learning in the past year or so.


Our God is an awesome God.


And I'm praying that you would continue to search for Him in everything that you do.

Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Disconnected

John 14:20-21
"On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

John 15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

John 15:12
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

Matthew 3:8
"Produce fruit in keeping with repentance."


They seem like simple commands, really. Love God. Love others. Repent and obey. Stay connected to the source.

Easy.

Or maybe not.


We dislike admitting it...

...But we've all failed, at one point and time . We disconnect ourselves from the source of living water. We dig cisterns - we build ourselves idols - and we find satisfaction through nothing.

Even after feeling God's presence,
Even after we've grown closer to Him,
We roll around in sin.

Sometimes we realize it...
...And sometimes we don't.


Every Christian could tell you how they've wandered from the Shepherd, failing to respond to their master's call. Failing to be obedient to His commands, we start to venture away.

We know we aren't supposed to.

But we do.


Now...

The question is:
How do we respond to failure?


On the 24th of August, I typed this:

After the storm

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for myself. It felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster, encouraged one moment and feeling discouraged the next. Half of the day I was crying, and the other half of the day I was laughing. I learned a lot in that time. I had already heard about mountaintops and valleys, how we have to go through hard times to learn and grow. Yesterday I learned that the encouragement God brings is as refreshing as seeing a beautiful rainbow after the storm.

What's more, when He brings a rainbow - encouragement - it's so easy to want to chase after Him. To want to find that treasure at the end of the rainbow. But how much more precious is a relationship with our God than gold or silver. Do we sometimes take our relationship with Him for granted? Or when it rains hard, do we forget to pray that He helps calm our storm? When there is no storm, or when there is no rainbow or encouragement, do we lose our faith in God? These are some of the many questions I have been asking myself recently, as I desire to seek after God and His will.


As I reflect upon what I typed in the past, I realize I have failed. My relationship with God has been way too casual, recently.

One running theme in my Intro to Christian Theology I class was that we make ourselves the god of our own lives. We disconnect ourselves from the one true vine. We commit idolatry as we place God in the back seat of our hearts.

Is He really the Lord who reigns in our lives?


Although they fear failure, many continue off in their own direction. Tempted to give up, they lose hope, blame and hate others, and other people are often hurt because of it.

But others respond to failure by recognizing the potential good within it. They often realize that they are still human and not in control; man needs to be totally dependent on God. Humbled through and learning from their mistakes, they repent. With motivation to improve, they recognize that Satan is trying to keep them from success. (However, we must also acknowledge that there are another two enemies we face in Spiritual battle: the world and the flesh. Therefore, we cannot naturally assume Satan is always to blame for our failures.) And they come back to Him with humility and a broken heart that God loves.

How wonderful it is to know that He cares about the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son (Luke 18).


We all fall down.


And God will help us back up...
...If we let Him.

As we continue going into each day of this week, my prayer is that God would guide us as we strive to obey His commands. Let us stay connected to our vine and serve our master as we love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. Praise be to God for He is so good. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Baking from scratch

The aroma was pleasing to him.

He sat in the kitchen, watching the pie rise in the oven.

His wife, Sonya, was baking from scratch.

Sonya built her own firm foundation; the shell of the pie was crafted by her own hands.

And that wasn’t the only firm foundation she built something upon.


Sonya was a pretty young woman, talented with many sweet gifts such as cooking and singing. The mother of two, she learned what it meant to live amidst business.

Although she desired to find rest in the peace of God’s comfort, tears flooded her eyes as she thought about last Christmas. This was a hard time of year for her.

Her sister died. They were on their way home after the Christmas Evening Service when a truck found the side of their car.


As Sonya sat down beside her husband, he tried to comfort her with gentle and kind words. Watching the pie so it would not burn, the last words of her sister echoed in her heart. “The most selfish thing you can do is not share the message with anybody.”

They were comforted to know that she was in heaven now. Still, pain filled Sonya’s heart as she thought about their special relationship. Things would never be the same.


Time passed slowly before the pie was brought before them. As Sonya served her husband a piece, he longed to speak the words embedded in his heart. He took a bite.

“You know, honey, it’s amazing how you manage to cook so well through experimentation. This is your best pie yet. It’s like there’s no magic formula for perfection.”

How very right he was.


Sonya’s sister depended on her for the faith. It’s like she bought the shell of the pie before she baked it.

Sonya built her faith upon Jesus, depending on and trusting in her Lord.


And when the hard times came throughout the years, she stayed grounded in the Word of God.


Luke 6:47-48 ~ “I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.”

As we continue living amongst all the business and pain of this world, may we continue to build our foundation on – and remain in – Christ.

In Tune with God's Will

We all make mistakes. Even after years of practice.

Sometimes when we make the mistakes, we want to laugh.

Or cry.


That’s how I felt one night when I was in Orchestra.


I got a second chance.


And then it sounded better.

Once my conductor told me what he wanted.


Listening to the entire band, his ears were able to discern what he wanted to hear.



What does our “conductor” want?


Does He want us to “go solo?”

Make mistakes, knowing that we get a second chance?

Listen and adjust?

During Community Chapel this week, an inspiring message was spoken. Our guest speaker mentioned tapestry.


We hold out a package of thread and ask God: “Okay, what now?”

He knows the big picture.


He hears the entire Orchestra.


As we strive to obey Him, sometimes we make mistakes. And sometimes He uses those mistakes to build character. It may be painful. We may be challenged when we least expect it. And when we look back, at times we cannot comprehend how that one particular loop of thread even got woven into our picture.

And then something else “throws us for a loop.”


We will continue to fight in spiritual warfare, and sometimes it may be difficult to whisper “Not my Will but Yours be done.”

What is God’s Will for us?

He clearly tells us in our “instruction manual,” the Bible, that we are to firstly love Him, and then we are to love others.


But what does it mean to love our Creator?


I sing praises to Him.
I go to Church.
I heard the Gospel.

I believe that He sent His one and only Son to die for my sins.


And I love my God.


But I can’t just say I love Him.


Submission and obedience is key.




When He tells us what we are to do, do we listen?


Or do we hide?


When He gives us that solo to play, do we “chicken out?”

Or do we play with confidence knowing that in Christ we find rest?


My challenge to you this week is this:

Take time to check your heart before God.
Make sure your motives are pure before the Lord in all that you do.
And praise God that you are able to have this personal relationship with Him. Know you can trust the one who created you.

Through obedience and submission to the one who loves us more than we can imagine, may we continue to play in tune with God’s Will for our lives.